my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
