i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
