Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
