he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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