wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
