Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
