I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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