it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
