I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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