I don't usually arrange sex via text message
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
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