Pappa wants mamma naked
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
