Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
