What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
