She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
When are your genitals available?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
