peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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