Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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