Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
