Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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