It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
