It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
