You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
