ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
