so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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