Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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