It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize