i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
