You're completely useless in the revolution.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
