i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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