I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
