If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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