why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
