Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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