i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
