hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize