Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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