Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
