I'm pants shitting drunk right now
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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