Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
