That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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