I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
this beer tastes like vomit already
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
