It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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