the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
