You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
then he tried to convert me to islam
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
