I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
