i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
