Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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