You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
