its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
