I heard we made out
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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