you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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