Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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