She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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