the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
