Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize