CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
