so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
