Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
