i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
