Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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