Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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