I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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