Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
