my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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