Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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