What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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