tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
